


Tell Me Again About This Human Thing...

by aralias



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, F/M, indecent proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aralias/pseuds/aralias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ultraworld was only the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me Again About This Human Thing...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lost_spook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/gifts).



“So - how was it?” Vila asked innocently as Tarrant and Dayna appeared in the Scorpio teleport bay.

Tarrant fixed him with a hard look and Vila’s grin almost wavered. Then Tarrant seemed to realise there was absolutely no way Vila could know what had happened, or could have had anything to do with it, and his shoulders dropped wearily.

“ _Another_ alien computer forcing us to demonstrate human mating rituals or die,” he explained as he made for the showers. “That’s the third one this month!”

“We got to second base this time,” Dayna said brightly. “The catch on my grenade was a bit sticky. I’ll have to work on it.”

“How was it?” Vila asked Tarrant as he passed.

“The grenade?” Tarrant said. “Loud. _Explosive_.”

“No, I mean-”

“I know what you mean, and the answer is that it’s none of your business.”

“He’s getting quite good,” Dayna said with a grin.

Tarrant looked torn between being offended that she’d violated his trust, and quite pleased by her praise. Eventually he clearly decided that saying nothing was the best course and strode off the flight deck.

Dayna frowned. “It is odd, though. _None_ of these computers have ever heard of sex before and they’re all suddenly _very_ interested. You and Avon never get asked to perform on command, do you?”

“You’d know if I did,” Vila said. “My face would still be like this-” He mimed terror: mouth hanging open and hands up. He brought them down and grinned. “Now me and _Soolin_ on the other hand-”

“ _She_ would have told me,” Dayna said. “That means it’s only me and Tarrant.”

“Maybe the computers know something you don’t,” Vila suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Dayna laughed. “Sure.” She patted him on the shoulder as she walked off the flight deck in the direction Tarrant had taken.

Vila waited a moment, and then took his feet down off the console in front of him. He leant forward. “How about it, Orac?”

The super-computer had been on and whirring throughout the conversation. “How about _what_?” it said now.

“What do you think? How much longer until your evil plan succeeds?”

“I do not have an evil plan,” Orac said crossly. “I have an experiment. The variables are precariously balanced and I cannot disrupt them by introducing a rogue element, such as your knowledge of the future-”

“Pull the other one,” Vila said. “That’s never stopped you before. Come on, are you going to tell me how long I have to wait until Dayna and Tarrant are officially Mr and Mrs Mellanby, or am I going to have to bust this whole thing wide open by telling one of them what’s going on?”

Dayna’s hands landed on Vila’s shoulders and he jumped. “ _What’s_ going on?” she said close to his ear.

“Er,” Vila said. “Hello Dayna. Lovely weather we’re having.”

“In space?” Dayna said.

“Well,” Vila said, “it’s not raining, is it?”

“I should never have taken you in my confidence,” Orac huffed.

“ _Vila_ ,” Dayna said dangerously. “Tell me what’s been going on. What have you and Orac been doing?”

“It’s not me,” Vila protested. “It’s him! He’s experimenting on you. I’ve just been betting on the results.”

“Against _who_?” Dayna said in disbelief. “And what do you mean, _experimenting_?” she demanded, having decided this was the important point. Vila tried not to answer either of these questions as she frowned. “Wait a moment – all these spaceships we’ve been landing on have been controlled by computers. Computers who wanted me and Tarrant to _kiss_ \- Orac’s been controlling them, hasn’t he? _Ooh_ , I should have known!”

“The smart money’s on you two getting together next week,” Vila said. “Soolin’s is on next year.”  Dayna swung towards him, eyebrow raised, and Vila clapped a hand over his mouth. “Apparently,” he mumbled through his fingers.

Dayna shrugged. “Well, if it keeps you entertained,” she said.

It took Vila a few moments to realise she wasn’t beating him to a bloody pulp or likely to do so at any point in the near future. He let himself relax and then noticed which direction she was headed in (back into the bowels of the ship) and tensed again. “You’re not going to tell Tarrant, are you?”

“No,” Dayna said, glancing back with a grin. “Like I said, Vila: he’s getting lots better.”


End file.
